Sandra Dee and I have a lot in common...

I suppose in a way, I am like the modern day Sandra D. Or was.

Gosh, I was terrified of everything. From smoking and drinking, to doing anything with boys and dancing.

In college, I let loose a bit, but still was very cautious over what I did with guys. I had this idea that if I had sex, God would turn away from me and I would be done for. Or that I'd be one of those random cases you hear about who got prego the first time and that would be it. My story would be over. Donezo. Finito. Sandra Dee would fade away into the history pages, only to be remembered as that girl who caved to sex, got knocked up and threw away her future.

After a four year dating hiatus, I met this guy, and caved to sleeping with him. I realized waiting was doing more damage to myself because I wasn't actually sure why I was waiting, other than this inherent fear of pregnancy and disease.

The first time was... well, it was awkward, hurt like hell, but was awesome. I lost my virginity amongst a bunch of storage boxes, moldy blankets and cobwebs to a man I wasn't in love with, and I couldn't have been more proud.

Now, that man is my boyfriend, and frankly, I'm surprised that he's so patient with me in this learning process. I mean, I'm no expert, but so far, I don't think I'm that great in the sack... he seems to think I'm pretty good for a newb. Of course, that could still be a back-handed compliment.

Either way, it's a new adventure... this one just involves little to no clothing...

But, back to the point.

I, like Sandra Dee, came to the realization that sometimes, if you have a man worth holding onto, it's okay to let go of your fears and have a little bit of fun. And, like Sandra, I am learning to be fully proud of my sexual prowess, and maybe one day, I'll get to be that vixen in the bedroom that I've always dreamed of. For now, I'll settle for trial and error and wal-mart lingerie to get the mood going.